Thursday, April 21, 2011

Bedtime Stories for Weird Kids: Flossing

One time I heard about a guy with sensitive gums like mine who flossed every day for three months because his dentist told him he should.

Three days in, he woke up with blood on his lips and all over his pillow. When that continued for two weeks, he called his dentist. His dentist told him to give his gums a rest, so the man quit flossing. At least while he was awake.

In the morning, he discovered wads of used floss in the growing pools of blood around his head.

His dentist recommended he contact a psychiatrist, but he was spending too much on his dentist bills. He put the call off.

Until he woke up with exsanguinated bodies in bed with him. His teeth had become vampires.

So I don’t floss every day, just in case.


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