Friday, October 22, 2010

Bedtime Stories for the ADD: The Digital Revolution

I never imagined myself a NeoLuddite, but when a patch had my microwave follow me because the timer had gone off, something snapped.

I was not then a violent man. I didn’t own guns. I hadn’t let Gerald bring his home either.

The toilet was the best weapon I had. The microwave never saw it coming. Because I had the bathroom door shut while I pried the toilet off the floor.

Now, holed up and awaiting my demise, I wondered if it was worth it.

Until a mobile phone came in and reminded me about a sale ending next week.



John Wiswell said...

Haha, I like this idea of a dystopia via Windows Update. If computer folk took over the microwave business, this would be totally plausible (and implausible, but better that way).

J. McNeill said...

Thanks, man!

This one is inspired by real life, alas. It seems everything is set on nag mode these days. Microwave timers and multiple e-mails a day with Amazon and B&N specials finally pushed me over the tipping point ...

Into writing this drabble. Unlike the protagonist, I really am a peaceful person.

Well, that and the microwave isn't intelligent enough to know the reason I want to smash it with a toilet is because it does a reminder beep every 30 seconds. Haha.

Steve Green said...

My brain is running out of my ears after reading this, it didn't half make me laugh though. Thanks J. :D

J. McNeill said...

Thanks, Steve. Glad you enjoyed it.