Friday, July 8, 2011

Bedtime Stories for Weird Kids: How to Play Hipster Tag

Not precisely a story, but I've established some precedent for this sort of thing.

Hipster Attack:
1. For this game, you must be in a public place where other people are around. Playing Hipster Tag in your house is far too mainstream.
2. Look for a hipster.
3. Point at the hipster and shout “Hipster!” like a cross between a battle-cry and a monster truck announcer.

Hipster Hipped:
1. If you are identified as a hipster, you must fight back.
2. Examine your accuser and pick something about them to be hipster about. For instance, if your accuser is wearing a collared shirt, shout back, “I wore dress shirts ironically before your mom knew what drool is!”

Hipster Battle:
1. All participants continue as in step 2 of Hipster Hipped until all but one of the hipsters runs out of insults. The remaining hipster is “too hip to live.” Also, that hipster wins. Buy that hipster some PBR.

Bonus: If you identify a Hipster and they don’t know Hipster Tag, you get ten points and also get to shout, “It’s called Hipster Tag. You’ve probably never heard of it. It’s too underground.”

#92

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